Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Sounds Of The City - As Heard By Henry Moses

High heels hurriedly clicking on pavement. 

Muffled saxophones spilling out from bars as people stumble out for a cigarette.

Tipsy girls laughing on their way into a brightly lit pizza parlor. 

A hungry alley cat meowing for food. 

Police sirens howling in the distance. 

An old man begging for spare change. 

That same old man whistling at a college girl. That girl’s boyfriend saying “Are you asking for a beating old man?” 

The old man replying “You college boys always got such smart mouths?” 

The college boy saying “Bring it on oldtimer”. 

The old man pulling out a gun and saying “Life’s a bitch and then you die”. The gun firing and people screaming. 

The old man flipping a coin at the lifeless body and saying “Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and learn some fucking manners.” 

Then the old man fires off two warning shots into the night sky yelling “Aloha from Hawaii, you bunch of pricks."

Monday, February 5, 2024

Charred Logs Part Three: Collected Quotes and Anecdotes Of Henry Moses


As the grandstand buckled and collapsed around the football field, I kept running for the touchdown as a final tribute to our great fans.

~~~

So I said to Linda “That’s YOUR theory”. But she was right. I hadn’t brushed my teeth.

~~~

It’s embarrassing to choke in a restaurant, but it’s even more embarrassing when you choke on the way there.

~~~

Jeff Healey had no idea he was acting in a movie called Roadhouse. He actually thought Dalton was his friend. Wake up Jeff.

~~~

You know what they say: Walk around slowly and carry a big stick.

~~~



Log Crumbs: Editor's Note by Jeremy Milks

Henry Moses is a friend of mine.  I've known Henry, oh say, almost 30 years. Yet in those 30 years I've never seen him sit still i...